16. Overcoming Fears With The “Override Switch”

I was out to lunch with a friend who had mentioned that they were nervous or afraid to take a major step with their partner; however, the ultimate goal that they had in mind (marriage and kids) overrode the fear that they had instilled in themselves with taking such a step. Immediately, a light switch turned on in my mind as a concept. An override switch is us wanting or desiring something which is greater than the sum of our parts. Our ultimate fantasies are at stake, and therefore, the mundane day-to-day activities that we procrastinate or avoid do not seem so meaningless and small. The issues that we hype ourselves up about also avoid becoming trivial and irrelevant in comparison to the bigger picture.

Now you may be thinking that this is obvious, but is it? How many things do we do day to day for seemingly no reason? Are we consistently thinking of the bigger picture? Of course not. We prioritize living in the moment, sometimes the future, and unfortunately, the past. We often do not consciously or subconsciously take this leap with whatever we are doing. Perhaps in some way it’s in order to retain our sanity. Is it productive or helpful to always look toward the future? I would argue it’s not. Besides, that takes away a bit of impulse and spontaneity.

But let’s talk about things we are truly afraid of or wish to avoid. Are there meaningless or small issues that can easily be overcome? Are we falling into avoidance and procrastination because we do not have a clear sight of the end goal or result? How can we outsmart our current situation in order to drive us forward and achieve what we truly want to achieve?

This is, of course, where the override switch comes in. Take this example: Say that you do ultimately want a family, but are hesitant about dating. Rather than putting negative energetic focus on the topic of dating (whether you do decide to date or are proactively avoiding it), you can “switch” this energy and put more gratitude and love into the bigger picture. Resonating with your wants and desires will help you not only refine what you want exactly, but also begin to tie in your day-to-day activities in order for you to make sense of them. 

Perhaps there’s something that is daunting every day. For me, it’s my skincare routine. However, the ultimate goal for me is not having any skin issues as I age, which overrides the need or want to avoid doing said skincare routine. Once I prioritize the end goal and this positive energy, it makes it easier to come to terms with decisions related to it. Considering we are already at risk of over-inundating ourselves and decision fatigue, refining your wants and desires is a great way to weed out the BS on the day-to-day. Are there things that you’re currently doing that can be removed? Improved upon? How about more efficient, or even saved for a later date? Perhaps you may even be in trends or cycles that worked well for you previously, but you haven’t had the time or opportunity to phase them out.

I do want to share one warning about this, though. The override switch is only meant to complement your wants and desires, and not to force yourself into doing anything. You should not be looking at the override switch as a way to make an excuse for what you’re doing and create this fantasy out of thin air. It’s really about alignment, refinement, tying into your everyday life, and by proxy, removing what does not fit, or overcoming fears or obstacles related to it. The goal is not to have these two parts of your conscious and subconscious have energetic dissonance, but simply to marry the two of them together. This also, in a way, starts to bridge your conscious self and subconsciousness in general.

Start investigating your life, particularly where you have fears or pain points. What does this ladder lead to? And if nothing, then let it go.