175. How We’ve Changed The Concept Of Suspense

I get that I’m old, but I do recall a time without the internet (cringe).

I would say that we did reasonably well with our communication and existence as a species. After all, we were in the modern age. But of course, there was the occasional moment when you would be with your family and struggle to your demise to remember “that one actor in that one moment”. Now of course, all of that information is at the tip of your fingers. Now, I’m not here to argue against the internet or to say it was “better” back then. In fact, I don’t think it is. And we talk a lot about an attention issue related to the internet or being chronically online. But I think this is a separate topic. What i want to talk about is the concept of…

…

suspense.

So why does suspense matter inherently? It’s barely something that we talk about. In fact, it’s really only the moment where we’re terrified in a horror movie. But is it only in horror movies? Not really. Suspense is really that beginning or middle of a climactic moment. And if we are to classify it being the beginning or middle of any climactic moment, we could hypothetically say that suspense is not only a large part of our lives between milestones, but likely a large part of our daily lives. Now, I acknowledge that we’re not always “on edge” for what comes next, but at certain times we are. And I suppose if we live a relatively boring or on the other hand extremely exciting life, we’re likely to integrate any number of feelings of suspense that we’d like. I would argue that suspense is simply the time within two points on a timeline. But what is suspense? In my opinion, it’s the emotional reaction that is created between these two points. I’m sure there are likely reasons as to why someone may feel suspense more than others, but I don’t now if there’s necessarily rhyme or reason. Except when we get to the timing portion.

Let’s talk about time before the internet, in general, communication was either direct (in person) or extremely lagged. In other words, there was typically an immediate response face to face or a lagged timeline in terms of expecting to hear or see results of a certain thing you did or thing that you said. In other words, it may pop up in magazines, newspapers, etc. but besides being on the front cover of a newspaper, this wasn’t really in real time. And it’s also not something that affected the average, everyday consumer, which is important.

Now let’s move to present day where we are all on our cell phones and the internet is immediate. For the most part, all of us to an extent are putting ourselves out there. For many it’s not public, but for others it is. Even if it’s not pubic, consider the time it takes between messages. Now with texting so readily available, it’s not uncommon that you may be discussing a serious topic, or quite frankly just putting yourself out on a limb. The timeline between both of these parties is simultaneously short but long. And it’s also quite a personal and intimate experience. Adversely, if you’re talking about social media, you may be receiving comments or likes in real time to what you are expressing out into the world, whether that’s just your voice, your opinions or your views. The timeline of suspense is kind of awkward, to be honest with you. It’s not immediate, but it’s also not delayed. It’s not direct conversation, and it’s also not enough time to really process and undergo reflection regarding what you just expressed out into the universe.

So why is this important? There’s a certain level of finality or clarity when it comes to direct communication that provides lack of suspense. Before we were on the internet, there was also enough time that lagged between communication which allowed both parties to really absolve any and all created emotions between these breaks of communication. It’s kind fo a similar sentiment to how you’re supposed to write a letter to someone that you’re mad at and hide it away in. your drawer. And then ultimately, you don’t end up sending the letter. Even if we want to dive deep into direct communication, often times unless you’re talking to people within your home, there’s also a decent delay in response, as you may need to travel to find someone, or wait until they’re available for a phone call. It’s much more immediate or delay vs. the internet which is an intermediary timeline.

So what is awkward about the intermediary timeline? It’s neither direct nor delayed, it’s simply… intermediary. So we sort of actually lose both positives. We lose the finality of direct communication, and we also lose the reflection and emotional resolve of delayed communication. We’re in fractaled real-time. We have no finality, and we also have limited availability to recover and reflect. We’re almost in a strange suspense purgatory where not only are we perhaps less able to finalize or absolve our communication or emotional needs, but we are also in a purgatory of anxiety.

Imagine that feeling where you’re waiting on the response to a risky text, waiting on a ping from your manager, or waiting to see your application results. It’s practically grueling. There’s no peace because we are online and have access all the time, and remain in not real time but not delay purgatory. There’s this level of timing expectation which i think really has a genuine hold on us. I do feel that this strange suspense purgatory is contributing to increased anxiety, increased ambiguity, as well as increased levels of emotional confusion and potentially acting on impulse.

So we’re now understanding the odd change in the concept of suspense, so what do we do about it? Ultimately, I think it’s up to us. If you feel that you’re unintentionally struggling with these concepts, you may need to have much better boundaries when it comes to communicating with others. Particularly if it’s talking about sensitive topics. When you have discussions that illicit emotional reactions, consider direct communication only. When you’re looking to respond to your comments, considered delayed communication only.

I do worry that we will ultimately become so overrun by the anxiety being created through this purgatory timeline that we will become totally overwhelmed, or potentially just shut down emotionally because we are so over stimulated. I think particularly in work, this is becoming a problem. So ensure you figure out the best method for you to overcome these obstacles.