259. What Happens When You Take Responsibility For Everything In Your Life

We’ve all been there. Deep in a hole, and everyone is to blame. Even with a large amount of self-responsibility, one could argue that there are just things out of our control. Our neighbors are too loud, the dress we just bought for $200 is made of poor quality, the train doesn’t come, etc. Are these things our fault? No. But what if they are?

One could argue that on a subconscious level, we allow others to bend our will. It’s essentially… learning lessons. On some level, we consent to experiencing a handful of painful lessons in this lifetime. Of course we aren’t intended to suffer, but pain in some ways, is often times a given.

But say you don’t believe in that, and you’re just existing in the world at the mercy of others. There’s this frustration and anger which comes out of us when we feel like we’re trying but the world is clapping back at us. Why? Well, there could be a bunch of reasons. Perhaps the methods or paths that we are choosing are out of alignment with us. On a subconscious level we know this, but on a conscious level we don’t. As a result, our physical reality is significantly out of alignment.

I challenge you to do something which feels somewhat wrong. Perhaps we’re even encouraged against it, as  we may “overwhelm” ourselves. But what if you truly did take responsibility for anything and everything in your life?

When we avoid responsibility for the things which are making us suffer, we never really address them. We simply compartmentalize them, reject them and repress them. It never gets resolved. I do believe there’s a sense of grace we can come to that of course there are things out of our control, but we have much more control than we may think. As mentioned, we are not intended to suffer in this lifetime. Discomfort? A given. Pain? sometimes part of life. But suffering should always be avoided.

It is true that at times in our life, we are truly unable to take responsibility for things that happen to us. After all, why would we, or why could we, when we’ve gone through a particularly traumatic event? The issue is that these self preservation techniques keep us in the state that we’re in. They keep us remaining a victim. And every single person on earth is entitled to remain there, but I just ask… why? Why would you want to exist in a life of pain and suffering? There’s a difference between “can’t” addressing an issue, and “won’t” addressing an issue. We are so much stronger than we think, and if you feel that you can address something and/or overcome it, then you can. Perhaps you just need the right motivation and tools. With that said, we can never do anything this grand alone. We must have help and support. We are simply just the drivers of this change. The ones behind the wheel.

It can be deeply uncomfortable to take responsibility for areas/aspects of your life. Even me, who has done the work to do so, still finds that there are some things which I have some resentment of. There are still some things which feel out of my control. But the truth is… we can always come out of our mistakes. We can always change the future. We can always warp energy.

The main issue with taking responsibility with one area of your life is that it ends up like a domino effect. Here’s an example. One decision or choice that you made years ago may have had several repercussions. It may not have just been “one” decision, but one which led to many. As a result, taking responsibility for this one decision (or perhaps even lack of decision) had a domino effect in other areas/aspects of your life. Depending on the severity of all of these instances and their effects, it may be more and more challenging to take responsibility moving forward. But again, it’s important to remember that it’s never too late.

If you’re still struggling with this concept, perhaps reframe “taking responsibility” as simply acknowledging and accepting. Just because you take responsibility, does not mean you need to add any more burden in. your life. In fact, it’s a fallacy and quite the opposite. It means that you allow yourself to release old, negative or stagnant energy associated with it. 

If taking responsibility is a domino effect, consider how much of a domino effect this positivity can have on your life. The opportunities are endless.