461. How To Love
Another thing that’s never quite taught: How to love. We may consider it easy, or take it for granted. But many people on earth have not been loved, or shown love. They may close themselves off and may not want to experience it. Even if you do feel loved now, perhaps there were moments in the past when and where you didn’t. Considering love is all around us in every or any aspect, it’s a high likelihood that your relationship to love was once warped or twisted. Not intentionally, perhaps, but a byproduct of life and the learning lessons that go along with it.
When we watch TV and movies we see many physical forms of love. A family eating dinner together. A man buying a woman flowers. All of these are great gestures of love, but what if you don’t feel inclined to do any of them? in fact, maybe you want to, or part of you wants to, but you can’t quite seem to execute it. Then what? Do you find other people to love? Maybe, but it’s important to start small, and start from within.
Many people discount the love that we have on a daily basis. But let’s run through a couple of scenarios.
Scenario one is you wake up. Maybe you’re not feeling great. You feel it’s too early. You run through all of the things you need to do today. Maybe you’re feeling drained, your back is aching, and you’ve got lots of people who want something from you or out of you. It’s so easy to fall into a trap where you dread the next morning, particularly if it’s a Monday. And it’s understandable.
Except every single feeling that you have and thought that runs through your head, as well as all of your behaviors are a relationship with love.
All of those thoughts and feelings were, arguably, not from a loving state of mind. They were from a self-preservation, fearful or even negative, and at worst, hateful place.
The easiest way to improve your relationship with love is to begin to reframe everything that you do that may be negative. Perhaps things that you never even thought of before.
Maybe part of your morning routine involves sitting on the couch and scrolling on your phone. Is this showing your body love? maybe. But maybe it’s getting some fresh air and going for a walk. Maybe you then decide to get an objectively “healthy” breakfast. Have a bit too much caffeine. Force yourself to dive into your work without taking a breath. Consider all of these tiny moments as ways that you can or cannot love yourself. What are thoughts you can think of and things you can do moving forward which are loving?
It’s important to note that your negative feelings are valid. Rather than doing your best to “avoid” them, allow them to run through your body. You can imagine them starting at the top of your head as an energetic “ball” and rolling through your body, through your feet and into the earth. Once this is done, allow yourself to come up with a new affirmation. Keep in mind, it may sound totally ridiculous, or untrue at first. This is ok and part of the process. It may seem like you’re forcing positivity, but what it’s really doing is slowly changing all of our energetic parts from the inside out. Change is weird and uncomfortable, and this is just part of it.
So once your negative thought has left, come up with a new and positive affirmation. So when you’re waking up in the morning, perhaps you think, “I’m looking forward to helping others”, or “I’m excited to show myself love”. Again, it may sound corny, but it’s part of a retraining process which takes some time, patience, and again… weirdness. You can also be as specific as you’d like, or choose what’s relevant to your current point and place in time or situation.
Rather than force yourself into grand gestures, start small. Experience “love” in the little moments. Love will feel different for everyone, likely. And I do feel there are several different hypothesis for what love is. But most importantly, it’s a feeling. If this feeling is foreign to you, don’t worry. You’re not alone. As you continue to go through this journey you’ll start to develop what love looks and feels like.
Remember. Just because you may not have anyone in your life right now to give or receive love to and from, you always have the universe. Some of the most profound love I’ve ever felt is from the other side, as well as the universe as a whole. Consider that your physical existence is a temporary “holding pattern” regarding your more enhanced or innate connection with the rest of the collective. And always remember that everything can transcend, meaning that just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean you can’t feel it. And you can still maintain strong connections with those on the other side.
