101. Why We’re Obsessed With People Who Don’t Want Us
Perhaps this title is slightly misleading. People who don’t “want” us is a little intense. It’s not that people don’t “want” other people, as at the end of the day, we are all “one” through source, but it’s simply that we are not an energetic match for another person at a point or place in time, or they make a conscious decision to reject us out of negativity or fear. Often times each others’ wounds can become inflammatory, which can make it difficult to be around certain people rather than others. “Want” is a bit intense, and I think it just sounds kind of bad, however it’s a relevant phrase, and likely one that we’ve spoken at least once in our lifetime.
So what leads to this obsession? I think it can be a few different things. Often times the energy of others can become “addictive” if we feel that we cannot sustain our own energetic source, and they are bringing something incredibly valuable to us. Ironically, these feelings can never be “created” out of thin air, or only possessed by another. They are simply highlighted or realized by other people. We retain all of the love and aspects of universal feeling within us, and we are simply triggered by different impressions and stimuli. When you think about it this way, it actually brings us a substantial amount of options, optimism and freedom. Yet, we cling on to this idea perhaps out of fear or inability to want to look on to something else.
But why are we obsessed with these people to begin with? On top of shared memories and experiences, it’s likely that this person possesses something that you’re attracted to. What are we attracted to in others? Typically something which we either don’t possess, or don’t possess enough of. If you really deduce attraction, almost every aspect of what you’re attracted to is likely something you’re lacking. This is what spurs this attraction. We are constantly attracted to lots of different things in this lifetime, not just romantic attraction. It’s because we need it or want it, because we don’t have it, or we don’t have a particular “version” of it, or enough of it, if we’re talking about things.
While it sometimes feels impossible to do it “all” and retain everything that we need and want to have int his lifetime, we sometimes “let this go” in order to be open and vulnerable to new energies, different from our own. This not only helps us learn and grow, but it leaves space for us to focus in on what is more apt to our particular needs and skillsets. Often times when you are “alone”, you’re primarily busy doing so much multi-tasking, that it’s sometimes hard for you to get to a deep, true depth with a particular learning lesson in your life. You’re sort of touching on multiple ones at once. Now of course, it’s certainly not impossible to do this, just a bit more challenging. That’s why we’re constantly energetically bumping into others. Consider how much others trigger change within you. It’s typically more intense, and on a faster, more escalated timeline.
What I find to be funny is that often times we can snap out of these obsessions seemingly overnight. Whether it’s a new obsession which takes its place, or we somehow “fill” the void of whatever this person was filling. Perhaps we’ve found new stimulation or impressions to distract us, or keep our attention away just long enough for it to dissolve, and for something else to come along.
The true secret to eliminating all obsessions is to start to enable yourself to feel these things without the permission or the energetic significance of others. Know that you can actualize any feeling that you want. It may seem strange or odd at first, but there’s typically an overarching theme that you can achieve. Whether that be strength, power, vulnerability, etc. The list goes on and on. The beautiful thing about our planet is that there are so many physical manifestations of these overarching themes, that you never run out. It’ simply our own skewed perception value that makes us believe that energy is finite. And that only one person can possibly hold or retain these energies. True love is actualizing that any single person is capable of manifesting and sharing the entire spectrum of human possibilities, capabilities and emotions. This is often times why we remain in close connections and relationships over long periods of time. We have faith and trust in them that they will continue to grow and evolve.
Despite it being sometimes fun to have these “obsessions”, sometimes they can become unhealthy or simply just a nuisance. Consider your attractions, what they mean and why. Then backtrack this theme, and figure out what other options and opportunities can bring you these same feelings. Remember that working out of love is prioritizing the other persons’ authentic self and their future trajectory/potential. Your needs, particularly if they are superficial do not override this fact. Try to separate yourself from the feelings of “obsession” to something a bit deeper. Ou may even find that they were not only non-important, but unnecessary after all.
