203. Tired Purgatory
You know that feeling when you’re dozing off and it feels impossible to get up, but you know you can’t go to sleep yet? Perhaps you feel that you need to get some tasks done and be productive, but it’s more uncomfortable to get up, so you just lay there? I like to call this “tired purgatory”. But it’s not just physical, it’s mental/emotional, too.
The concept of a “purgatory” is a strange and tricky one. Of course, we are familiar with an afterlife “purgatory” which is not quite here, and not quite the other side. Theoretically, this could be an in-between dimensional space, which definitely can exist. While I won’t claim that it’s “negative” or “bad”, it definitely feels like a holding pattern. In essence, you haven’t totally committed to either. Or perhaps you can’t go to one, and are simply just resisting the other. Perhaps “resistance” is the key theme here.
We can be in a tired purgatory in multiple areas of our life. Ever had a relationship, or heard of one where it’s too difficult to break off, so you just remain in it? Or how about a job or career? We remain in these loops because we perceive that the discomfort is greater to cut it off or change it. But we ultimately lead ourselves to be in this tired purgatory, or suffering state. Perhaps “comfort purgatory” is more of an apt term. Although, I don’t want to downplay the tiredness aspect. I think that in some ways, we convince ourselves that we have worked so hard at something, that perhaps the downfall of its existence is too much to deal with or bear. Maybe we perceive that the other side or the other end of this journey will require more work. And at the current or given moment, it seems impossible.
This is typically an illusion and one which is created out of fear. It’s no doubt that the immediate steps to change or rectify your situation may totally be a ton of hard work. Maybe, perceivably, your choice may require you to take on more tasks or responsibilities. But consider how this “tiredness” is making you feel. Are you lethargic? Hopeless? Do you feel like you’re at your wit’s end? Although you may physically take on new responsibilities, consider how your mental and emotional state may be. From personal experience, I can take on significant more challenges when I feel that my mental and emotional state is being provided for and protected.
The unfortunate news is that the more that we get into these purgatory loops, the harder it is to break. We just become so accustomed to it, that we’re not shifting or changing our life enough to have this inertia or momentum to have it play out in other areas/aspects of our lives.
I would say the most important aspect of being in “tired purgatory” is acknowledgement. Perhaps in some ways, it’s not so easy to spot. But if you feel lethargic or relatively hopeless for the future, that’s a clue. IF you don’t feel that you have a “vision” for the future, another clue. This could also, adversely mean that you simply just need to do some more planning for the future. But there should be some level of interest and excitement. Just… wanting to know what happens next. There shouldn’t be this dread or worry, or anxiety.
Everyone is certainly entitled to live as they please, but I beg of you, if you are suffering, have faith and courage to end it, to move on. To change your life for the better. Advice from someone who’s been there.
