208. What Happens When You Give Into Peer Pressure

When we’re kids, there’s always “the talk” about peer pressure. Yet somehow, we may need more of it as an adult.

When we’re kids, the conversation usually surrounds pressure from other kids. Perhaps they may influence you to do drugs or try alcohol. What I find kind of weirdly ironic about the conversations around peer pressure, is that they lean more toward “just say no”. I feel that in some ways, it’s an odd means or methods of control. Hardly any part of peer pressure assemblies talked about why others may peer pressure you, or who may be a victim of peer pressure. There’s no context as to any of the reasons “why”. It’s just… say no. Not even a conversation about intuition alignment, which is so odd.

Now, I may be an adult people pleaser, but I will say this. I do believe that well into adulthood, particularly for the millennial generation, there’s something to be said about doing “work” for those who may not deserve it. Whether that’s within relationships (romantic, friend or otherwise), or even your employer, I’m sure that we can all recall times where we gave into peer pressure. But is this peer pressure different? And why?

I suppose that we can all argue that team work makes the dream work. On some level, it’s important to compromise to get things done. After all, being pressured can sometimes be a good thing. It can get us out of our comfort zone, or a loop. I think that personally, there’s a good form of pressure and a bad form it. And I feel that it’s quite frankly only distinguished by certain points and places in time. It’s really whatever you “feel” is best. And then it can become complicated when we may feel that something, as perhaps at that moment in time, someone else’s feelings are more important than ours, and we can understand that.

But nevertheless, perhaps there’s intuitive discernment, as well as a “balance”. We can understand that in order to move throughout life, there’s a give and take. Btu what happens when we lean too far into the “pressure” component? Do we feel like we’re being jerked around by our significant other? Taken advantage of at work? What if it’s nothing that can even be “perceived”? 

What if the pressure that we are feeling is fake? A made up byproduct of our anxiety? Or what if it comes from societal pressure? Fears related to our security, safety and our own happiness and love?

When we give into the pressure, expectations or demands from others, we ultimately become beholden to them. We are living out their desires, instead of our own. They are essentially running and controlling our life.

Consider if you feel that you’re being “pressured” in some kind of a way. It’s important to note that at the end of the day, we always have a choice. We may be so pressured into a decision that it limits our choice, but we always have freedom of thought, and choice. No one can inhabit our bodies and run it for us.

Pressure can be anything. It can be a lie. It can be a fallacy. And it’s up to us to discern its worthiness, as well as the truth as a whole. 

But certainly, do not let anyone else run your life. While it may not be physical, it can be mental or emotional. And again, that pressure may come from yourself.

How to remove yourself from these shackles? Acknowledge that the pressure is there. Accept that it’s there. And then work to transmute it away. This process is determined by the situation or the concept/theme itself. But typically, it’s important to seek out actions and behaviors which go against the pressured notion, as well as provide you with more positivity and happiness overall. Consider these positive experiences to negate or transmute the old and stagnant ones.