42. What The Hell Is Self Care?

In the 2000’s “self care” became a concept and movement almost bigger than itself. And what I mean by that is it started as an industry and marketing trend which became so pervasive and ultimately abstract, everyone started using it. Whether it was in TV shows or simply an internet meme of anyone doing anything being related to “self care”.

I admit for a while, it was almost intimidating. How do I know what self care is? It is putting on a face mask but it isn’t? Am I doing it right or wrong? And to be honest, what’s the point?

From a spiritual and wellness perspective, “self care” is absolutely important. But I think as a society we get way to silo’d into the physical construct of self care. A woman sitting in a bath with candles, a book and a glass of wine comes to mind. Sure, that’s certainly self care. But I can tolerate that for a few minutes before I get incredibly bored. And I feel that a lot of people may feel the same way.

It’s not really a surprise to say that I’m different than most people. And alongside that philosophy, I don’t really enjoy the same activities as a lot of people. Often times I simply do them against my will because I know that they’re good for me. Whether it’s eating right, exercising, or “meditating”. I won’t go on my long rant about meditating and why it was ultimately counter-intuitive for me for so long, but I think that we limit peoples’ options with self care based on a one size fits all philosophy. Based on the success or the ideas of a select or limited few. I won’t even get into the entire discussion regarding access to certain things, therefore limiting options and opportunities even more. Although I am not neurodivergent myself, I’m going to reckon that based on my perception values and experiences, it’s likely that people who resonate with being neurodivergent have a very different set of needs than other people related to meditating and self care.

Anyway, I think it’s clear that each and every person has a different definition of self-care. And although mental, spiritual and emotional needs are often times addressed in self-care, it’s really more so geared toward physical things such as taking care of your physical self, buying new things and/or more physical-based activities. 

Since I personally never resonated with many self care options, I started to think of my own. And ever person can do this on their own. All of us do not need to abide by the pre-positioned self care toolkit. So what was mine?

I strongly felt that the best way to take care of myself was trusting myself and listening to my intuition in the moment. Things such as intuitive-based activities and intuitive eating. If I felt that I should be doing something different from what I was doing now, I did it. Instead of doing something which I had “planned”, I did something spontaneous. I paid attention to free-flowing energy. I aligned what I was doing to the energy of the earth, the universe, and those people, places and things around me. Rather than be in a routine, I decided to be spontaneous. Which I find to be one of the best ways to outsmart the matrix as a whole. Perhaps it’s just what I need. Perhaps it’s because I’m largely Capricorn and Virgo placements. Whatever the reason, I think that “doing what I want” is my form of self care.

So is doing what I want whenever I want a form of self-care? Maybe. It’s been a long journey of trusting myself. Of course the obvious disclaimer is that you should be safe and take calculated risks. And in some circumstances prioritizes what “needs” to happen. But if you have options, why not take them? There are so many things which can raise your vibration. Not just doing your typical self care acts.

Feel free to think differently, be creative, and perhaps even more meta with your self care. What makes you excited, brings you joy and makes you happy. It doesn’t have to fit inside a tiny compartmentalized box. It doesn’t have to be what everyone else is doing. It can be something totally weird, wild and unexpected. The important part is that it’s aligned to your intuition. Of course you don’t want to do anything harmful, hateful of destructive.

I think that seeing self care in your own unique way is really important. Don’t force something if it doesn’t intuitively feel right. Looking forward to see what everyone comes up with :)