430. The Stages Of Ego Death
For those who have experienced ego death, it’s a tough one to explain.
I feel I may have gone through about 2 or 3 in my lifetime. However, theoretically, the amount of ego deaths are somewhat unlimited, and some may go through their lifetime with… no ego deaths.
So what is an ego death? Because it’s theoretically impossible to have absolutely no ego in this lifetime… on this earth… we’re really talking about the death of an aspect, or part of your ego. More specifically, a “layer” or build-up on top of your previous, or intended ego. Let’s assume that at some points and places in time, it was required for you to have thick skin, a tough exterior, a trauma-free existence or otherwise, in order to survive. This “layer” of ego was a man-made, or rather, you-made solution to a problem. It worked for a period of time, but it certainly won’t work forever. Why?
“Additions” to the ego are essentially like living with a second person inside your mind and body, particularly as you begin to outgrow it. “Additional” aspects to an ego will inevitably cause distortion, cloudiness and reduce decision-main capabilities, as well as any real knowledge or understanding what your future path is. In other words, the “old/layered” you wanted something different from what the “real” you wants now. Only one will live out the other, and it’s certainly not the one curated by you, in your deepest moments of despair.
Chances are, those who have experienced several negative experiences or traumas will be more likely to suffer ego deaths. As a result of past lives, it’s also likely that those who have had traumatic past lives may also experience something similar.
It’s clear that moving forward, there’s a benefit to ego deaths. But how do you know it’s happening? I’ve outlined a few notes below. Keep in mind that an ego death is somewhat of a universal intervention/canon incident. Rather than it being something you’d want to intention set or affirm, it’s somewhat of a “byproduct”. You wouldn’t want to do this needlessly. More so, you’d want to affirm being more of your authentic self, or things along those lines, if that makes sense. Don’t intention set the process, only the intended result.
External “attacks”: Don’t be alarmed by the word attack, it’s just the best way I can describe what I sense. Going through a ego death somewhat forces you to experience this head-on. On top of that, an ego death is like the “last” thing which occurs over several experiences and several amounts of time. The “easiest” place to start is becoming like the universe’s target. In a way, the universe wants to position you in a point/place where you will have the “easiest” time going through this ego death. This may occur when people are more reclusive, perhaps they have more time/ability to spend to work on themselves. On top of that, they will be a target for learning lessons moving forward. This means they may run into a string of bad luck, closed doors, and more. The universe wants you… right where it wants you! To do the most work. It’s hard to provide too many additional descriptors, because everyone’s experience is so incredibly different. But let’s just say that the experiences in the first few stages of an ego death are forcing you to look “inward”.
Canon events surrounding you: The next layer of this onion begins with your job/home, friends and more. These are sort of your social or circular “outer layer”. It’s not super close to you, but primarily things which are at an arm’s length. While job is of course important, as losing a job would mean financial insecurity, your job typically does not take your heart, unless it’s incredibly overly involved in your ego, which would likely not qualify for this particular category. Some examples of this experience unfolding would be loss of job, difficulty getting a job, stagnation of a current job, change of home, inability to find a home, friend circles changing, difficulty with friends, and more. The universe is looking to shake up your outer circle as the next part of this process. This is partially to get closer to what your authentic self wants, but also to “release” who or what is no longer serving you. If there’s an opportunity pulling you too far in a different direction, this will likely be pulled or taken away from you, at risk of disrupting this process.
Complete and thorough confusion: Panic is somewhat of a natural progression of all of these events. To be honest, confusion is typically happening in and between all of these parts, but in the earlier stages, it can be particularly frustrating. In a way, I do sometimes feel that defaulting to confusion is a way of us to “deny” or reject the truth. “I can’t believe the universe would do this to me!” Meanwhile… you either asked for it, or were becoming so unsustainable, that someone or something had to intervene. It is true that as a result of practically all of these points, you’ve being “thrown around” mentally, physically or emotionally. You must be brought off-course to start a new one. This can feel like a forest with multiple paths. The answer/truth is to follow the path you’re on, even if you’re skeptical. As going backwards or jumping to a new path without any guidance or vision can be risky during this time.
Stripping of preconceived notions and ideologies: This is really the time when internal stuff starts shifting. You may be believing in different things, maybe even doing different things. But there needs to be the start of a process of a “rewiring” so to speak. You may find yourself interested in different things, maybe even musical artists. Your perspective is slowly starting to change. For those on the spiritual side, you may begin to start you “psychic downloads”. Some wild things you thought may never happen… start. You could change political affiliations, social affiliations. Things you said you’d never do… you start doing. Perhaps things you said you’d never give up, you do. The world starts shifting from a mental perspective.
Shakeup of the sense of home: Spiritually, home is not just home. It’s where we’re “rooted and planted”. In a way, it describes our purpose and connection here on earth. In addition, home is where the heart is, meaning that this also partially coincides with concepts of love, self-love and belonging. This will be a time of extreme purging for those who have had issues inside or outside the home, in any way relating. This is the time of unraveling family structures, ancestry, and more. You may start to notice concepts and themes. You may even start to see your close connections or relatives in a different way. It’s likely that there’s a renewed sense of meaning. For periods of time, you may feel very isolated or alone from them, as a way to review your connections from an unbiased perspective. Your renewed sense of home is really a renewed sense of… what are you doing here, and why? Consider that “home” or sense of is safety. This will really need to be strengthened during, and as a result of this process.
Off with… everything’s heads: This is the time for extreme purging. You are acknowledging, accepting and releasing old, negative or stagnant energy. This may be a time of simultaneous exhaustion (from purging), as well as intense motivation (as a result of feeling renewed). This is where you put the hammer down. You’re no longer doing this, you’re no longer being this. You strike down what no longer fits. And sometimes… it’s in a harsh way. You need to get results, and it feels imminent. There may even be a level o detachment which occurs. You may feel like your skin is crawling, you can’t sit still, or you want a fresh new look. A change is taking place energetically, but it can be confusing to pin-point or understand physically.
Renewed sense of spirituality: As a result of so much chaos and uncertainty, it’s likely that you’ll reaffirm some kind of faith, even if it’s with you as your own god. This actually comes less from a state of fear and insecurity, and more from the opportunity to have “openness” and peace. While before there was no space to experience freedom, spirituality, meditation and more, it’s now starting to feel like there’s more options. This is also a precursor for what comes next because... it’s of course… not over. This is really a period and time for celebration. You’ve been going through a lot, experiencing a lot. Certainly it’s time to find hope and community.
The “break”: I would say that this is where one may truly experience their “tower” moment, but it happens so randomly and spontaneously, there’s no real build-up. It’s certainly the house being set on fire and burned to the ground, but it’s in reaction to the rest of the work going on. In a way, it’s connected and symbolic to the sense of home. Throughout this process, you’ve been pinpointing what’s not working. What ideas, beliefs, people, places and things don’t exist. You may say… hasn’t this already been done? Not quite. Anyone can release old, negative or stagnant energy from a surface level place. Not many people can release things which are such a strong part of their identity, they may feel they don’t have one when it’s done. The deepest possible fears and insecurities we have. The thins we’ve worked years to avoid touching. Bu then of course… the break happens. Why? As this entire process is going on, we’re starting to chip away at this layer. Very slowly but surely. But at some point… the true “ego layer” has been revealed. There’s nowhere to hide. Imagine it’s like slowly taking pieces away from a Jenga tower. Inevitably, the last one gets pulled, and the entire thing falls. This could look like lots of things, but it’s typically some type of an emotional or mental breakdown. Typically it’s manageable, as it’s really connected to much of the work that’s already been done. In a way, it’s simply a “surrender”. It’s incredibly difficult, yet simple at the same time.
The pieces: As in any impression of a broken glass, the “higher self” observes the wreckage and is somewhat in disbelief. This leads to many out of body moments, as well as perhaps, some internal fractaling. You may not feel yourself, you may feel super like yourself, and you may not know what to do with all of the pieces. The truth is… none of these pieces are likely relevant, as they were/all pieces of the false ego. It can be, even at this stage, impossible to let go, and the grieving period may be hard. But going back… isn’t really an option. Thankfully, most of this internal work assures that going back can’t and won’t happen, because there’s been too much self-actualization.
The next chapter: This is truly the “unknown”. The result of this entire process. The “new you”. Or more like… the authentic you. This is so incredibly different for any given person. I will say that, any and all ego deaths I’ve experienced feel like I was living in a dream beforehand. And that’s because it was. It was a false reality from my own delusion. It wasn’t reality. The answer typically feels “the same”, yet… “different”. You’re always you, but your perception of reality changes quite drastically throughout life. While ego deaths can be scary, confusing and… not great… The aftermath is typically quite insightful and peaceful. When you reach this point, you’re at a true place of surrender, and things may even slow down quite a bit. It’s certainly… a time.
